The Challenge of Blogging

Scheduling a time to blog? Writing on a routine and consistent basis? Ugh! That does not fit into going with the flow--writing the moment creative energy bursts forth in any given second.

For me, blogging isn't as easy as it seems because my heart lies in writing books. I can write, edit, and critique for hours on end, into the darkest morning hours. But blogging? Something about it seems so much more...demanding.

Committing to a blog is like committing to a marriage. It requires dedication, attention, consideration, honest communication, keeping things interesting. That's a lot of work.

It's almost safer not to write a blog. With a novel, I can take my time--days, weeks, months, even years to craft a great story. But blogs demand weekly, sometimes even daily, devotion. I am a devoted writer, but fall short as a blogger.

So I allowed myself to consider the difference between blogging and all the other writing that I do. 

It boils down to that ugly four-letter F-word that I despise so much because it has plagued every facet of my life--fear.

Fear says that what I write won't interest anyone. It tells me I'll bore my readers, lose the small numbers of followers I've managed to gather. I may write something that I'll regret years later. Fear points an old crooked finger at my inability to commit to a schedule. It reminds me of my lack of responsibility, and many other failings.

I am afraid (Freudian pun) to consider all the lost opportunities I've allowed fear to cause. It has always been my greatest self-imposed road block. Now I'm forced to consider what would happen if I tackled my fear. What security will I lose, what unknowns will I gain? The unknown is frightening. 

Fear requires vast amounts of time and energy to break down an iron-walled ego that has tried so hard to protect me in its feeble way. And listing those fears--what a long, long list that would be. (At least I could write it.)

Still, if I tackle my fears, I wonder if I'm proving something to myself or to others. Can part of my fear be the result of my constantly seeking the approval of others? Have I let my imagination rule me or is there something greater that I don't see?

Facing fear. Yikes! I'd rather blog.